Wednesday, 31 August 2011
Sunday, 28 August 2011
50 posts
Wow, look at me - two posts in one evening, usually it's two posts in one week!
Anyway I realised ealier was my 50th post - so woohoo! Though I have to admit, it is pretty lame considering how long I've had this blog lol.
Also realised that it's bank holiday monday and my certificates need to be at the university wednesday latest.
Please royal mail, please.. I'm begging you. Please don't let me down.
Anyway I realised ealier was my 50th post - so woohoo! Though I have to admit, it is pretty lame considering how long I've had this blog lol.
Also realised that it's bank holiday monday and my certificates need to be at the university wednesday latest.
Please royal mail, please.. I'm begging you. Please don't let me down.
Sending my certificates
Well. I've been hiding for the last couple of weeks - ashamed because I had lost my access certificates. I have literally been (secretly) pulling out my hair going crazy as they were meant to be at the university by the end of August to make my offer unconditional. So anyway my boyfriend found them today... He suddenly remembered we had hidden them in a 'safe' place where they wouldn't get lost. Haha. That there my friends is the definition of irony.
So I'm happy, it's bank holiday tomorrow so the post office will be closed but first thing tomorrow I will be sending them off :).
I have also been up and down to occupational health recently - which has not been fun. Couple of hepititus vaccinations, MMR etc. and if one more person says to me 'do you know what they put in them vaccines?' I think I will have to slap them. No I blindly agree to getting injected with forein substances without bothering to do any research first.
Another point of occupational health - my 'mental health'. I spent about an hour talking to the doctor and telling him I was fine etc. Then at the end of the appointment he asked me to sign a sheet that he was sending to my doctor to obtain a copy of my medical records to confirm everything I'd told him. Oh smurf.
A few days ago I got a letter from my doctor saying that she wanted to have a meeting with me before sending my medical records. Maybe now I'm going to have to admit that I might not be ok. I've been bobbing under the surface of their radar for so long now I thought I'd never hear from them again. Blah.
So I'm happy, it's bank holiday tomorrow so the post office will be closed but first thing tomorrow I will be sending them off :).
I have also been up and down to occupational health recently - which has not been fun. Couple of hepititus vaccinations, MMR etc. and if one more person says to me 'do you know what they put in them vaccines?' I think I will have to slap them. No I blindly agree to getting injected with forein substances without bothering to do any research first.
Another point of occupational health - my 'mental health'. I spent about an hour talking to the doctor and telling him I was fine etc. Then at the end of the appointment he asked me to sign a sheet that he was sending to my doctor to obtain a copy of my medical records to confirm everything I'd told him. Oh smurf.
A few days ago I got a letter from my doctor saying that she wanted to have a meeting with me before sending my medical records. Maybe now I'm going to have to admit that I might not be ok. I've been bobbing under the surface of their radar for so long now I thought I'd never hear from them again. Blah.
Saturday, 13 August 2011
Why I don't post on my blog enough
I've noticed I have some followers, it's actually probably quite silly how excited that makes me feel!
It has also made me realise though, that I honestly do not post on here enough. Why don't I post enough? Well there are two reasons:
1. I'm not a happy person.
Let me clarify, I attempt to be happy.. and I pretend to be happy. But when it comes to writing, alone with my thoughts - it's generally not a happy place. When I go to write on here I usually end up writing a lot of rubbish about feeling sad or guilty or not being good enough - and nothing really to do with my midwifery journey. I don't really want to look back at this blog in a negetive light - it's meant to be a new, exciting time for me. So I usually delete them posts. I think I've left a couple - but that's when I've really felt the need to let it out a bit and I don't mind leaving them there.
2. I don't have time.
I know, I know - in a month I guess I will really know what not having enough time feels like! I can't sleep at night, and then I feel exhausted in the day. My days currently feel like surviving, not living - and I try to make them as enjoyable as possible and make the most of the time I have with my babies before September. When my eldest (2years) has an afternoon nap I do as much cleaning, tidying, washing etc as possible. When they both fall asleep by about 8pm I want to flop onto the sofa and relax, then I make dinner. We eat at ridiculous times in this house and I hate it. I often have dinner about 9pm. Then I got to bed as I feel so tired. I usually lay in bed till about 2am trying to sleep, interspersed with turning on the tv for a bit, maybe reading some of a book, playing with my phone etc. My laptop is nowhere near me and although I have an app for blogging I hate it.
So there are my excuses. :)
Oh wait I have another!
3. I ramble.
I start typing and it feels like my escape, and I find it hard to stop. I love writing but my style of writing is pants. I used to want to be a journalist and work for pregnancy magazines, write books etc. I had an idea after reading Ina Mays guide to childbirth with all the birth stories, I wanted to publish a whole book full of positive and empowering birth stories for pregnant women to read and feel confident. Chapters for every type of pregnancy and childbirth imaginable, including visits into the sader side of pregnancy and birth. The thing is I'm rubbish at writing so I never followed through with the journalism thing, OR the book idea (thought that would mainly be composed of other peoples stories anyway).
So yes. I love writing, typing. It makes me feel calm and relaxed and I while I'm writing I don't need to face the world. So when I start - I really hate to stop.
It has also made me realise though, that I honestly do not post on here enough. Why don't I post enough? Well there are two reasons:
1. I'm not a happy person.
Let me clarify, I attempt to be happy.. and I pretend to be happy. But when it comes to writing, alone with my thoughts - it's generally not a happy place. When I go to write on here I usually end up writing a lot of rubbish about feeling sad or guilty or not being good enough - and nothing really to do with my midwifery journey. I don't really want to look back at this blog in a negetive light - it's meant to be a new, exciting time for me. So I usually delete them posts. I think I've left a couple - but that's when I've really felt the need to let it out a bit and I don't mind leaving them there.
2. I don't have time.
I know, I know - in a month I guess I will really know what not having enough time feels like! I can't sleep at night, and then I feel exhausted in the day. My days currently feel like surviving, not living - and I try to make them as enjoyable as possible and make the most of the time I have with my babies before September. When my eldest (2years) has an afternoon nap I do as much cleaning, tidying, washing etc as possible. When they both fall asleep by about 8pm I want to flop onto the sofa and relax, then I make dinner. We eat at ridiculous times in this house and I hate it. I often have dinner about 9pm. Then I got to bed as I feel so tired. I usually lay in bed till about 2am trying to sleep, interspersed with turning on the tv for a bit, maybe reading some of a book, playing with my phone etc. My laptop is nowhere near me and although I have an app for blogging I hate it.
So there are my excuses. :)
Oh wait I have another!
3. I ramble.
I start typing and it feels like my escape, and I find it hard to stop. I love writing but my style of writing is pants. I used to want to be a journalist and work for pregnancy magazines, write books etc. I had an idea after reading Ina Mays guide to childbirth with all the birth stories, I wanted to publish a whole book full of positive and empowering birth stories for pregnant women to read and feel confident. Chapters for every type of pregnancy and childbirth imaginable, including visits into the sader side of pregnancy and birth. The thing is I'm rubbish at writing so I never followed through with the journalism thing, OR the book idea (thought that would mainly be composed of other peoples stories anyway).
So yes. I love writing, typing. It makes me feel calm and relaxed and I while I'm writing I don't need to face the world. So when I start - I really hate to stop.
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