I'm poor!

So we're really struggling with money at the moment. I've started designing keyrings, magnets, framed prints etc to sell. I know I'm not going to make much but every little helps... Some of it's midwifery themed, and I've also started painting canvases for childrens rooms, little signs to hang up in the house

Lots of random stuff really. It's quite funny because I'm rubbish at everything including creative things so now I've started all this I've just been thinking no one is going to buy any of it anyway. -sigh-

When I set up my facebook shop I will add a link

Xxx

International day of the midwife

I remember this date 2 years ago... My life changed forever.

Surprisingly it was nothing to do with midwifery. My first baby was born. Well I say born, I actually mean cut out of me.

Afterwards I was given a certificate to say he was born on international day of the midwife... I thought it was a joke, I had no idea this day existed!

I said something about how it was a coincidence. They asked why and I said 'because I'm going to be a midwife' with a big fat grin on my face. They seemed quite enthused at first until they realised I was just 19 with a new baby, no a levels and no plan to apply to uni anytime soon. They seemed bored then and seemed to humour me. It really irritated me at the time, I felt like they didn't believe me or thought I was stupid.

Looking back I understand their reaction. I was quite clearly clueless about just how competitive university places were, how important a good personal statement is, grades, experience etc. I thought they'd see my passion and that would be that!

I remember after that day I started researching more to ensure I managed to get a place at university. It was then I realised how seriously I needed to take the application process to be accepted into university.

So international day of the midwife is not just important to me because of what it is and what it stands for, but because of the birth of my oldest beautiful, amazing son and because I think I partly owe my university place to this special day.

My new uni bag!

Thank you SMNET xxx

May update

Sooo.... I have an appointment with occupational health on 20th June, I've sent back my forms and stuff so the ball is rolling... Now I'm just dreading all the blood tests and injections I'm going to need :( I absolutely despise needles, which should be fun on placement shouldn't it!!! I really am trying to be less scared but I think it's just getting worse? Last time I had my blood taken I passed out when I looked at the needle, it was mortifying!

I had a mini panic attack in bed last night... I was thinking how quickly time has flown since Joshua was born and how he's nearly 3 months!!!!!!!! Then I remembered I was starting uni around the time he's 6months!

Half of my time with him has gone already and what do I have to show for it? I'm going to be busy with uni when he says his first words, or takes his first steps.... I'm torn inside whether to ask if I can defer my place or not - but I know realistically I wont do that.

I worked SO hard for this, my uni had Well over 1,000 people applying and only a few of us were given an offer. That's kinda changed now as they've been given extra funding and extra hospitals for placements so they are doing more interviews to take on more students and there will be around 92 of us! Unbelievable! Many cohorts for this particular degree have less than 20! Anyway I know they wouldn't let me defer for a reason such as 'I want to spend more time with my baby' so I would have to reapply next year and the whole process was so stupidly stressful I do NOT want a repeat.

And then there's the fact that I actually miss being out working doing stuff with adults every day! Hmmm it's so hard...