Conditional offer at London Southbank Uni

Yesterday was a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions type day for me...

Kings said they'd get back to us by 23rd (tomorrow) but we got a message saying actually it will be in the new year. When I sat there reading that message I could feel myself trying not to cry and called them just to clarify. I was told that the midwifery tutors have left early for Christmas and wont be back in till 4th Jan. The earliest we may here is now the 7th of Jan. It was originally 5 days after interview, then 10 days, then 2 weeks and now it's a month.

I've been going out of my mind checking hotmail, ucas track and kings myapplication every 10 minutes or so and can feel the pressure building and building. I'm so un-confident in my interview performance and just dreading an unsuccessful. I never realise how much I'd want this until this week.

When I got off the phone I just burst into tears. I can't face waiting over Christmas I feel obsessed like i NEED to know... and I see everyone else waiting patiently I don't know how they do it.

I was so down I shouted at my son for the first time yesterday. I was sitting on the floor in the living room crying after getting off the phone and he came over being his usual cheeky self and snuck up behind me and ripped some of my hair out. Usually I'd just tell him off in a firm voice but I turned round and screamed at him and he sat onthe floor and started crying as well.

So I made the decision to stop going online as much, frequenting midwifery sites and seeing everyone with their offers etc.

After this I got an email saying my ucas had updated. I knew it was an unsuccessful from LSBU and had to log in to track shaking..... it said conditional.

Well I don't think I've been so shocked in my life... I'm so happy and so proud of myself.

The problem is that LSBU I found out at my interview is much too far away... it's about 2 hours journey and that's with no traffic etc. It includes a walk, a bus journey, a tube journey, switch to another tube, then another bus. I have no clue how I would get their for placements say if i was on night shift etc.

So in a way i feel selfish having an offer when I now know it's unrealistic... I also feel panicky that I'm not going to get an offer anywhere else and will end up moving house. But I can't force my family to move for my dream?

Argh rambling here :(

Psychopathology distinction!

Got my mark sheets back for psychopathology and english level 3 - distinctions!!

so now I have completed 45 credits out of 60 all at distinction and have another 15 credits to go.

changed moderation to march instead of june so am currently working my bum off on biological aspects of health and disease and finding it really hard! written about 10 pages so far on the first 2 questions, then i have 3 essays, a powerpoint presentation and an report that i have to do and then apply statistics to! fun fun

getting jittery waiting on lsbu and kcl!!!

xxx

I love my boyfriend

Today was nice, I met someone who is going to be at the Kings College interview with me on wednesday and we chatted about they day and what we thought it would be like etc. She also saved my life scanning some documents for me to send that Kings required! :D

Got home and was getting frustrated with my access work there is a book I REALLY need but cannot afford and in about 2 minutes my boyfriend had located a free copy on the internet, downloaded it and put it on a memory stick for me! God I love free ebooks!

And THEN i told him about this other book that I really want but it's too expensive and I want it BEFORE my interview on wednesday and he found that one for me too :D:D:D

I'm a happy bunny tonight :) xxx

Middlesex tests today!

Well I went to middlesex uni today for the english and maths tests!

Thankfully the northern line was running ok, and no changes so I got to sit reading magazines on the tube for an hour!

Once I got there I met another lovely lady who was going for the tests and we managed to find the hospital together... there were LOADS of people there!

Was quite surprised how easy the tests actually were and I'm going to be pretty concerned now if I don't pass! lol

It was over a lot quicker than I thought as well and I got some lunch at costa and was on the tube by 12 and home by 1pm!

Apparently we will be hearing by Christmas, which is what LSBU said about whether I'm unsuccessful or not - I'll hear by Christmas! I keep phoning them asking, I'm so impatient! But they keep saying the same thing... by christmas, by christmas! ggrrrrrr

Also got home and checked my emails and I have to redo loads of my bloody psychopathology essay so I now want to kill someone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rawr

Middlesex on Friday

I feel really stupid. I've seen some of the people who have had offers at Surrey and I just don't get it. No offence or anything, some of the people who have been given an offer are amazing but others... well one of them can't even spell for a start. I know it sounds petty but it's just like rubbing salt in the wound!

Got English and maths tests at middlesex uni on Friday, they said they have examples of maths and english tests on their site but can't find them anywhere so I'm just going to go with the flow I guess!

Got an email from my tutor today about my psychopathology essay and I nearly pooed myself, but he was just confirming he had recieved it in the post. I have absolutely no motivation with DLC work at the moment and every time I think about it I just want to cry.

It's 1st December today.... do you know what that means? I might be giving birth NEXT MONTH! blooming heck that's gone fast and now I'm terrified! I'm not prepared! I need to sort out the house! buy stuff! Finish DLC! Arghhhh