Unsuccessful at Surrey University

Eek! Haven't posted recently. Been feeling a bit down.

I knew I messed up my Surrey interview and the more I thought about it the more crappy it made me feel

I attended an interview at London Southbank Uni on 16th November and I felt this one went really well! I was in there with the interviewers for nearly an hour, just felt like a relaxed informal conversation where i got to talk about my passion! So different from the Surrey interview! Too bad it's the furthest uni away from me :(

Also can't remember if I posted on here but I got a letter from Middlesex and on the 3rd of December I need to go do some maths and English tests and if I pass them then I get invited to an interview.

At the begining of this week I phoned Surrey and they said they would let me know by Friday (yesterday) whether I had a place or not. I pretty much knew the answer but still sat on eggshells all week waiting. Finally by yesterday afternoon I gave in and phoned them. I was told 'we've rejected you'. Probably not the best way they could have put it but hey ho. I wanted to ask why but could feel myself about to burst into tears so I just said 'ok thank you bye' and hung up.

I then went and ran a bath and sat on my bed thinking about things and crying. Jakob was having a nap so I was alone to be sad. Even though I wasn't shocked by the answer I was still pretty devastated. I didn't even tell Ian straight away as I knew he'd tell me not to cry, not to worry... but sometimes you just have to let it out don't you?

After a while I realised my bath was cold so had obviously been there a while and got Jakob up from his nap and carried on with my day.

All in all I'm grateful I had the interview as it was experience and I gave it a shot. It wasn't my first choice but I did love the university etc so it was still upsetting. Thinking about it it's knocked my confidence a bit for my remaining interviews but has also made me more determined. I will get a place this year, I have to get a place! I NEED a place.

Anyway enough of my ramling, other things that have contributed to my mood recently is the fact that I have SPD. I started getting pains, tried to ignore them until the other day I literally couldn't do anything ALL day and the doctor said I need antenatal physiotherapy now, so yeah, great!